I
know I don’t look very strong, but look at me: I’m waterproof, flexible and oh
so thin.
Who
wouldn’t want me?They call me Condom, Latex Condom.
I
have the coolest friends too. Colourer, Flavoured and Ribbed. Sure, I’m not as
flashy as them, but trust me, we’re all up for any situation. I’m sure you know
what I mean.
We’re smart too, eh. Nothing gets past us. We’re like the bouncers to the exclusive club where only sexy sensations have access. No bribes will convince us to let in sperm, STIs like syph and gonorrhoea, even HIV-no, we’re awesome like that.
Actually,
hold up. There is a slight possibility that some things you don’t want in your
club will slip through, but look it’s normally not our fault. We go through so
much to be the best for you- we have a maturing stage, take electoral shock
tests, get locked in a square foil with lube, take leakage and quality control
tests and sit on stores shelves, waiting patiently to be bought.
It’s
taken 400 years to get us this way. Our ancestors were made of oiled silk
paper, tortoise shells, linen sheaths, leather and the various insides of
animals. Even today we’re not the only option because you can find our friends
lambskin and polyurethane.
I’m
not placing blame, but you people-sometimes you get so caught up in the heat
that you poke holes, let us slip off, damage us with oil-based lubricant or
forget to use us at all!
Let’s
us agree that neither of us is perfect. Pay attention now, here’ s how to do it
the right way:
-Make sure the
expiry date has not passed.
-Tear package and
be careful not to rip with teeth or fingernails.
-Place, still
rolled, over the tip of an erect penis.
-Pinch the tip to
get all the air out, and unroll with your other hand.
I admit we’re low
maintenance, but I’ll liven up your day or night in playful, seductive ways.
Trash me after one use, and go on to one of my friends for the next time…
So come on. Pick
us up today. Put us on. Protect yourself.
Who wouldn’t want
me?
The call me
Condom, Latex Condom.
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